“I’m sorry I didn’t reply. I had to think. And its had to admit to myself that i’m certainly not someone you want to love, I’m alone because its just what I do and always have I wont change and i’m just learning to be ok with that. I’m not someone to be in love with because I cant even love myself and I cant even promise myself that ill stick around long enough to get though any kind of bad times. I know you want to help but you cant right now and I love you too and I have never been more thankful to have you in my life and to have someone show an ounce of care and respect for me but I cant. I mean look at me I sleep with any guy who’s nice to me because its the only time I feel like I am tolerable to myself and others. I don’t know why I hate myself so much… I just know that I cant have you in my life because all I can do right now is drag you down. I’m a sick person and I cant tell or promise you I can ever fix that. I’m sorry i’m so messed up. You deserve someone who can love you and support you. And that’s not me. I promise.”